Anecdotes from Law Practice: Alcohol

My law practice was a real education in alcohol, drugs and sex. Let’s start with the alcohol.

My first job for the State of Washington took me to Superior Courts all over the state to conduct trials that would revoke drivers’ licenses for suspected drunk drivers who, after being arrested, would not blow into the breathalyzer machine. The penalty for failure to blow was harsh:  In addition to a conviction for DWI, the license revocation lasted 6 months with no opportunity for an occupational license, and automatic placement in a high-risk category for auto insurance, which cost more. Because the penalty was harsh, drivers were prepared to fight hard for their licenses in court.

     The testimony of arresting officers was so similar from case to case that I could  have recited it. The driver would weave all over the road, or wreck his car. The officer approaching him would notice the odor of alcoholic beverages (Not just "alcohol;" "Isn't it true, officer, that alcohol has no odor?"), and would watch the driver fumble to retrieve his license. While he fumbled, the officer observed his flushed face, watery eyes and slurred speech. The officer would ask the driver to perform field sobriety tests:  Walk heel-to-toe, stand on one foot with his eyes closed, arms extended and head tipped back (I can’t do that sober), and say the alphabet. None could simply recite: They all had to stand beside the highway singing the alphabet song. Eventually, the officers added visual nystagmus to field sobriety tests. A drunken subject cannot focus his eyes on the officer’s finger as it moves back and forth past his face.

     One driver purported not to understand the officer’s directions. “Ich spreche nicht English,” he said. The Trooper said, “Ich spreche Deutsch,” and proceeded to recite the Miranda rights in German. “Okay, okay, okay,” the driver said.  

     A driver from Shelton, WA, was picked up after he tried to drive home by sticking his head out the car window to see where he was going, because he couldn’t see out the frosted-over windshield.  Amazingly enough, he held a license that allowed him to drive within  three miles of his home, but not more, because his vision was so poor.

     A commercial pilot from the Olympic peninsula testified on his own behalf. His attorney had him admit that he had been visiting friends and had been drinking the night before, but he didn’t drive off the road until he was leaving the next morning. But that opened up the topic for me to cross-examine. I committed an error that is fundamental among trial lawyers—you never ask a question unless you know what the answer will be, but I hadn’t learned that rule yet—so I asked, “Did you have any alcohol to drink for breakfast?”

     “Just bloody Marys” he testified. He was so intoxicated when he was picked up that he did not even realize that his ribs were broken until he sobered up later, in jail.

     Videotaped in the jail, one driver asked to call his lawyer. After scanning a few pages, he threw down the phone book and asked, “How can you read all those little numbers when you’re drunk?” He was so embarrassed that the judge allowed him to wait out in the hall while the tape was played in court.

     One of the worst traffic jams ever to take place over the Snoqualmie Pass was caused by a drunk driver.  The highway had been narrowed down to two lanes for construction, and the driver was weaving over both lanes so severely that nobody could pass him.  A Trooper came across the jam and worked his way with his blue lights for seven miles before he reached the head of the line and effected the arrest. The driver was combative when the Trooper brought him into the police station at North Bend, WA, to offer the breathalyzer test and to complete the booking. As the Trooper wrestled him into the booking room, the driver flung out an arm and hit the light switch, cutting the lights. An excitable dispatcher was following behind, and immediately restored the lights, but the testimony at trial later was, “They turned out the lights and beat me up.” (No doubt the Trooper was tempted to, by then.)  That driver had been a celebrity 20 years earlier. He was Champ Butler (now deceased), a popular singer whose records like “Them There Eyes” can still be found on the internet. 

     Officers arrested enough drivers around the State every year on New Year’s Eve alone that I had at least one trial every week for the three years I worked for the State. I don’t think I’ve gone out on New Year’s Eve since.