TRUDY AND THE CHICKEN
A Play in three mercifully
short acts. Based on a TRUE
story.
Cast Of Characters : Trudy…a dog.
The Chicken…a
chicken. (Well, a rooster actually.)
Jon….Trudy’s
man
Barbara ….Trudy’s
woman
Jorge….a guest worker from a country
where Spanish is spoken
Luz…. Jorge’s wife
ACT 1 Scene One
As the curtain rises it is
early morning. Trudy is trotting down Osprey Road sniffing and smiling and
thinking dog thoughts.
Trudy : “ Gonna get some good Snoopin’ and Poopin’
this morning. Explore some more. Here’s a tree, take a pee. Happy, Happy, me. To be Free.
Whoopee.”
Scene Two
A trailer surrounded by trash and
chickens. Trudy enters stage left and
immediately goes into a wolf stalk.
Trudy: “ohmygod,ohmygod,ohmygod”
The Chicken, busy pecking,
looks up and sees a large carnivore coming.
The Chicken: “Whaa..What is …SQUAWK!!!”
…dead silence.
Curtain(s)
ACT 2
AFGO Cottage. Late morning on the East River. Barbara
enters stage right and looks out over her deck toward the river.
Barbara: “Whaa..What is…JON THERE”S A DEAD CHICKEN ON
OUR CHIMANEA!”
Jon: Yells from
offstage: “BARBARA DON”T LET TRUDY GET
THE CHICKEN OFF THE CHIMANEA!”
Barbara: “Whaa…What is..
Jon, entering stage
left: “Barbara will you calm down, you’re
squawking like a chicken.”
Barbara: (sarcastically) “I suspect there’s been a lot of that going around.”
Jon: (proudly) Trudy brought
this chicken home. The damn thing must
weigh 20 pounds. I think it came from that trailer on East River Road. You know, the place where the lady gave me
some peanut butter because she thought I was homeless?”
Barbara: “ It’s a rooster not
a chicken and it’s dead and I want it off my chimanea before the buzzards start
to circle.”
Jon: “I’m going to put it in a box and return it
to the owners and offer to pay for it. Just let me go get my bike.” He leaves.
Barbara: (muttering to
herself ) “Only Jon would ride a dead chicken in a box down the road on a bike.
Why me Lord?”
Curtain falls.
Act Three Scene One
AFGO Cottage. Late Morning.
Barbara is reading in the living room.
Jon enters stage left.
Barbara: “Well?”
Jon: “ I knocked on the
trailer door and nobody was home so I left the chicken on the picnic
table. I’ll go back this afternoon with
some money and a jar of my hot pickle relish. They’ll love it.”
Barbara: “They’ll love what, the relish, the money or
the dead chicken?”
Scene Two
The trailer. Afternoon.
Jorge is explaining the morning’s events to Luz who just got back from
her shift at the nursing home.
Jorge: “That homeless gringo you gave the peanut
butter to came down on a bike with a box.
He put it on the picnic table. And then he knocked on the door.
Luz: “What did he want?”
Jorge: I don’t know, I didn’t want to answer the
door. I waited until he left and then I
looked in the box and there was this dead chicken. I am thinking what does this mean?
Does he know I don’t have my
green card ? Madre de Dios! Luz, He knows I don’t have a green card! This is a threat I will wind up in a box like
a dead chicken !”
Luz: “Do you think maybe he just wants more peanut
butter?”
Jorge: “ Luz why do you always be sarcastic with me
?”
Luz: (looking out the window) “Jorge, a car is coming. It’s the homeless man! The homeless man has a car!
Jon knocks on the trailer
door and Jorge opens it.
Jon: “My dog killed your chicken and I am very
sorry.”
Jorge: “ok.”
Jon: “Here’s something to make up for it.” (hands Jorge a $20 bill wrapped around a jar of hot relish.)
Jorge: “ok.”
Jon: “Do you want to keep the chicken or shall I
dispose of it?”
Jorge: “ok.”
Jon picks up the chicken
box and exits stage left.
Jorge steps out of the
trailer and holds up the money and relish. He calls inside to Luz.
“Luz, Luz, the crazy gringo gave me twenty dollars for
the chicken. And Luz, the wonderful
thing is….the chicken wasn’t even ours!
I love America.”
THE END
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